Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Posing

With a piece of pie

Smile! Yep, I see you. You're posing.
We all do it, don't deny it because I know when you're lying and it hurts me.
I am as guilty as the next girl. I have some favorite go-to poses. 

With my desk

With my friend Alexis











My friend Katie Bradley says I even have a 'mirror face' and says "Mirror Face!" whenever I'm in her presence in front of a mirror. (True friend). But I already covered mirrors in an earlier post, let's get back to posing. (Focus, LizBiz, focus).


I'm really here today to talk about the Animals. Because you know who doesn't get a say in posing? Animals. Nope, they don't.
They just stand there with their small brains and pasted on smiles while the camera goes "click! click! click!" while their little eyes get burned out by flashes. 
Who's there to be their touchstone? Their sounding board? Their friend?
Definitely not the people who made these cards. See the humiliation below.

Dad, who put this pole in my crotch?
And what do we have here? We'll, you have eyes don't you? Clearly this is a Papa cat and Son cat having a nice ole time fishing at the local pond. Papa is maybe giving Junior some encouragement and/or advice on how to cast or maybe telling him to watch that nasty hook from snagging his baby paw. The possibilities are endless. 
Let's also not overlook the attention to detail here with the props. That is CLEARLY a beginner's plastic pole with some safety options that Papa's adult cat fishing pole does not have. Cause he's a Dad.
How did I get here?
Back at home, here's Mama Cat knocked up with 19 kittens in her belly (that apron and camera angle are very forgiving) and she is making ONE HELLUVA cupcake for Junior's birthday party which is tomorrow. She is amazed as anyone else to be able to balance on her hind legs like this (let alone adopt that very human 'hands on hips I'm a frustrated suburban mom cat') and is wondering how in the sam hill she is going to light that candle?! (No explanation on how it got there in the first place.)

But in all seriousness, whose cats are these? Who is exploiting our feline friends for such sheer HILARITY? One minute, these cats are taking their collective dumps in their kitty litters and before they know it, they're wearing starched kitchen aprons and chef's caps with fishing poles being tied to their furry arms. Now that I think about it, it seems about right.

Say cheese!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Accessories

“Before leaving the house, a lady should stop, look in the mirror, and remove one piece of jewelry.” -Coco Chanel
If it's anyone we should listen to, it's Coco freaking Chanel. The icon herself would be crying if she saw what some women are doing with accessories these days.
But, I must ask, is it entirely our fault?

We have the H&M's, the Laila Rowe's...even the (collective gasp) Claire's beckoning us with their "Buy two get one at half-off" and before you know it, you're walking out looking like a backup singer in a Cyndi Lauper video. What's a girl to do?


Are those clothes pins in her hair?


On the streets of New York, I have seen some pretty daring moves. This chick is Hello Kitty, meets Jenny from the Block meets an intervention waiting to happen. Two bows, really?
Born to be wild?
But this girl? I LOVE. I met her at Lids-yes the sports cap store (don't ask) and I asked if I could please take her picture because I was loving her glasses. Which is true. I do love them. In a perverse can't-peel-my-eyes-away kind of way. And in case you're wondering, that IS an Oscar the Grouch baseball hat. Amazeballs.


These aint your grandma's chain glasses.
I guess I shouldn't throw stones, as I too, have gotten caught up in the an accessories flurry every now and again. Here I am in London covering the Royal Wedding in April for TLC. Should I have lost the scarf? Is the necklace and the (Chanel!) pin too much? Perhaps. 
Feeling sunny for Wills and Kate
But it could have been worse that day...
Holy shit
If you are really into cool finds and your budget may allow for a little more- check out J. Crew or baubles on this shopping link from New York Magazine.
http://nymag.com/shopping/features/48925/

But my favorite Chanel quote has little to do with pearls, diamonds or pins. Because ladies, it's all in how you wear it. Attitude. (But please do take one piece off...)

"You live but once; you might as well be amusing." 

Monday, August 1, 2011

Superjorts

Left to right: Normal length miniskirt, Superjorts
It's been an especially hot summer, especially in New York. This weather brings out mostly the worst in people and fashion is no exception. 

I was getting my nails done the other day and I did a double take. "Did ass cheeks just appear out of the corner of my eye?" I asked myself.
Why yes they did. In those superjorts.

My male friends reading this blog are probably just plain psyched I risked ruining my manicure taking a picture (you're welcome) And ladies,  maybe I'm a bit envious of this chick's long legs but really, these are underwear.
Similar to Jean Diapers. Haven't seen them yet? Oh yes, they exist.
Cute baby jean diapers
But somehow, they're cuter on babies...